Thursday, March 31, 2011

Confessions of a Lapto(p)holic; The Laptop Withdrawl Syndrome

Lapto(p)holic Confessions: The Laptop Withdrawl Syndrome

Without a laptop you will realise the importance of libraries" said a wise guy sitting next to me, doing online crossword puzzle at 12 AM!!! he calmly sipped on his coffee and snugged back into his comfi chair in library. So i find out. God i am soo hooked onto my computer that life just wont be same anymore. Behold as i introduce the laptop withdrawl syndrome of a laptop-holic. To make House proud i need to make a diagnosis and creat a fancy syndrome, which i proudly did and can declare myself as its first diagnosed case. 
So here is how u figure it out. You need to be very close to your comp. If you need it in your restroom to work or its turned off once in a month or you change facebook status (non mobile) Q1h, you probably qualify. Then pour some nice virus or power surge on it and watch the comp crash and code. Goal is to cripple it to near death but not dead. Once you reach that point, call for help and send it for rescue or hope for a miracle. Now use your astitute observation for symtoms.
Panic, rush, calling up all your Geek friends and Best Buy Geek Squad and summing up massive rescue and stimulus funds immediately can all be initial symtoms. This is followed by a phase of major deppression, world would seem colorless, email check freq will drop down sig to Q12h and fb check Q24h. If your world suddenly decelerates from ShanghaiRail to Combodian adventure rail you are a victim. After the initial dispair comes the confirmation. If you make a rhythmic tap on table, watch CNN for 10 hours, listen to alligator stories and alas eventually rush to a local lib to "read" then you probably have advanced disease and need urgent help.
treatment is as pathogenic as disease...condition outshines opiods, ectasy, heroin...its sweeter said another victim sitting in the next lane. (God i didnt know lib was a hub of such patients) You need a bigger and a better comp, so these ppl start dreaming Mac, some even feel vaio inj or lenovo patch would do just fine...in short they need there baby back, it like adding a C to ABC of ACLS...Access, Blog, Computer... life line to a laptop-holic

No comments:

Post a Comment